We took off at the buttcrack of dawn on Saturday morning, heading for the wild, wild midwest. Despite various plane delays, we made it to Des Moines just after the storm hit, which resulting in some slipping and sliding down the runway (great fun) and a very slow and long drive to John’s family’s house. My parents were kind enough to pick us up and in theory get to spend the afternoon with us, but the weather being what it was, we headed straight north so that they could get home as soon as possible.

Upon arriving, John’s mom Pamela immediately offered us about 15 different kinds of Christmas candy. Now, normally, I may be prone to exaggeration. But here? Nope. Lots of candy. We had a good evening with his mom, grandma and oldest younger brother.

Sunday, we went with them to their big family Christmas. It was a lot of people that I’m now related to, but who I didn’t know beyond being able to sadly tick off in my head each family that never replied about the wedding. We weren’t big on their list, apparently. But they were all nice. We ate a lot of food, watched a lot of football, ate some more food, played a lot of Catch Phrase, had some snacks and talked. And ate more. Constant grazing, really.

Monday, Christmas Eve, we woke up and sat around most of the day. John’s sister and her current flame arrived, and we did presents. Then church (my first Lutheran service, too). Then more presents and dinner. John and I got clothes, cash, books, and all sorts of little random things. Good times.

Then it was off to my family’s celebration. We arrived just in time for dessert to be cleared away, which was good, as we’d been eating nonstop for two days. With the possible exception of when we were snacking. However, lest you worry that we starved, my mom had graciously cracked a bunch of crab for us, and provided it for our grazing contentment. Then church (Episcopal, this time) and home. We stayed up talking with my cousin for quite awhile before crashing.

Christmas day, the family all convened. It was my mom’s sister, my mom’s older brother and wife and daughter, and my mom’s younger brother and son. Two other sisters and their families didn’t come. Great time was had by all.

Though tradition states we do stockings, breakfast, presents, the degree of impending crabbiness from my mom was enough to make breakfast of great importance. And the homemade scones (pronounced “on” not “ohn”–Scottish aunt and all) were delicious. The stockings and family pictures were also good.

We’re also the family that does presents like this: everyone gets one, then we each unwrap, one at a time, with lots of ooohing and ahhhing. But with 11 people and the pile under the tree, I was vetoed it was decided that we’d just go at it. John and I made out like bandits: a griddle, a calphalon skille, a whustof knife, clothes, books, gift cards, towel sets, kitchen supplies, etc, etc, etc. Everybody got lots of kitchen loot, courtesy of Amy’s job in a cooking store and her subsequent 30% discount. It still took us about 2 hours. The presents we took were a great hit, especially the 6-pack of wine.

In the afternoon, we ran to John’s family’s house to do stockings and eat more. Then back home for some more food. Christmas cookies had to be decorated and eaten, ham made, potatoes, salad, the other salad, and Christmas pudding. Fully lit, of course. With brandy butter. We actually got the thing to stay afire for quite awhile, what with all the brandy.

All in all, a very lovely day.

Wednesday, my mom’s younger brother and his son left, which meant we all woke up even earlier than on Christmas, as they had a very long drive. After waving goodbye, we went on a long walk through the neighborhood. This is actually one of my favorite holiday traditions: my family always goes on a long walk. We did at Thanksgiving, we did Christmas day, we did the day after Christmas.

After showering and sitting around for quite awhile, we then went shopping, as all good Americans do. John got a bunch of clothes that he desperately needed, I got some pants and shirts, and we contributed to the local economy. Very thoughtful of us, eh?

Then it was home to steaks. One of my great aunts usually sends a giant box of the Hickory Farm-type stuff: summer sausage, cheese, crackers, dried fruit, chocolate. This year, instead, she sent a GIANT box of Omaha steaks. And pork chops. And fish. And more steak. And stuffed potatoes. And since there’s 6 siblings in my mom’s family, she sent a lot of all of it. Funny thing is, she usually sends the entire thing just to our family, so no one else gets any. This year, it was even better stuff, and we got to share it. Good timing and delicious!

Thursday morning, we all went out to breakfast, where we convinced Amy to write her name and number on a sugar packet and leave it for the cute waiter who’d been giving her Looks. We’re all waiting with baited breathe to see if he calls. No bets have been placed.

Then it was decided that the remaining brother/wife/daughter should leave, as they also had a long drive and there was snow predicted for today (Friday). John and I had to catch a plane in late afternoon, so we packed up, realized there was NO FRICKIN’ WAY we were getting it all in carry on, and ended up checking two bags and two boxes. Lots. Of. Loot.

We got delayed again leaving Des Moines (lack of a plane will do that), but luckily our flight in Chicago was also delayed. Otherwise we’d have had 6 minutes to make it. But we got home safe and sound, with all our luggage, and James and Cara were kind enough to come get us.

And that was our trip. Yay Christmas!