Lunch did happen. I decided to be a big girl and go to lunch and see how things went, because, let’s face it, things aren’t going to be fixed by me avoiding her and the situation.

So she came to my lab after class, and we went off-campus to a salad/sandwich place nearby.

I have a bad habit of not looking people in the eye when I’m nervous, and I tried to not do that as best I could, but definitely did a lot of looking at the ground or straight ahead.

I asked her about her data, which was a safe topic (she got accepted for a talk at one meeting, and is waiting to hear from another), and when she mentioned something about plane tickets, asked about her trip this past weekend (apparently it went well, she had fun, her friend is thinking about moving to our area). Conversation was kind of stilted, but we managed somewhat well.

She did tell me about her date last night, which sounded fun, and that the guy seems nice, and has asked her to go to the theater in a week and a half. I congratulated her, said he sounded nice and all. I probably wasn’t too enthusiastic, simply because I was really unsure of how to act, but hopefully I came across as displaying suitable emotion, since that was one of the things she accused me of.

She mentioned they have another date in a week and a half–the weekend of my birthday. ((Side note: So when I got back to work, I sent her an email, thanking her again, asking what day her date was, and mentioned dinner for my birthday but that it wasn’t a big deal. It actually kind of is to me; it’s a milestone birthday, in my mind, but I’m not going to push anything. She can decide what’s important to her, and I can decide what’s important to me. And I can/will be a big girl about the whole thing.))

She didn’t bring up anything about our issues, but to be fair, neither did I. Frankly, I was chicken.

She also didn’t ask a single question about how my life has gone for the past five and a half weeks. I didn’t volunteer anything. Not that I wanted her to have to work for the information, but I’m feeling reluctant to reveal a lot about myself right now.

She has a habit of finding something about me that I don’t appear to be outwardly sensitive about, but really I am, and then making fun of me. Example: a year ago, my mom and I had a huge and horrible fight just after Christmas, and I spent a week or two crying a lot and basically feeling like my mother hated me. I didn’t tell her right away, mostly because I felt so bad, but eventually I did. For awhile afterwards, when we’d be teasing each other about something, she’d throw in a “Well, at least my mother doesn’t hate me” comment. Now, she gets along with her mom in a way that I envy, and I really didn’t appreciate this at all!! Granted, I don’t think I told her how much this hurt, so she couldn’t have know, but I also think there are some things you just don’t tease people about.

So I’m reluctant to share right now, as it were. Husband’s advice is just to not tell her things that I don’t want to be teased about, which I’m probably overdoing, but I’m feeling a need to protect myself from further hurt.

At the end of lunch, she drove me back to work, and instead of our usual sit-in-the-car-and-talk-for-another-thirty-minutes-then-go-get-coffee, I just said “Thanks for lunch, have a good day, see you later” and got out. I wasn’t sure how to deal with the whole thing, frankly.

Do I bring up what happened? Do I pretend that everything’s okay and just go back to normal? It seems things are transparently fixed for now, but what about the future?

What do I do? Help!!

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