I bought my first bikini today. Ever.

I’ve never had the confidence in my body to do so before, although I’ve worn plenty of tankinis–they make bathrooms on boats easier.

Cara brought up the idea a couple weeks ago. We’re all going on vacation together soon, and will be spending plenty of time diving and laying on the beach. Her points were: we aren’t going to judge each other, our significant others sure aren’t going to be judging us (or at least, they won’t be finding us lacking when they do), and we’ll be pretty much alone on our little desert island, so all the other people who might be judging us will be far, far away.

Shelly and I had to agree with that logic, so today, we headed to the mall to look around. Cara ended up being sick and missing the adventure, but Shelly and I still had fun. She ended up with a cute little red number and matching skirt, and we both bought cover-ups that look crocheted. They’re rather see-through, and thus show off the swimsuits underneath, but they cover-up enough that I feel pretty comfortable in mine. At least enough to possibly go to dinner in it if we come straight from the beach.

I tried on a bunch of different suits, but the place we were at was ridiculously expensive and the sales ladies were ridiculously pushy about selling. Although I didn’t buy anything, I did try on ones equivalent to the ones I ordered from VS’s.com when I got home. Thus, I have a pretty idea how they’ll look on my body, which definitely probably doesn’t match the model’s bodies online. Eh, so long as I feel I look good, it’s okay, right? This might be a good step in the whole self-confidence in my body and myself and my life thing. I hope.

They arrive Thursday. We’ll see how I actually look in them. And whether I actually have the balls (breasts?) to wear them on the beach in a week and a half.